We are overjoyed to finally be able to make our news about Baby Harvey “Facebook official!!”
Because Baby Harvey did not come to be in your typical fashion, we have had a lot of questions from curious and well-meaning friends and family along the way. We decided that we wanted to be fairly open with everyone about the process that we went through and answer some questions for the sake of education. There are lots of paths to parenthood for all kinds of people, and this is the path that we found to be ideal for us.
Who is carrying the child?
How did you decide who would carry the baby?
We flipped a coin. No, just kidding. We both had the desire to experience what it is like to carry a child, but since Mandy is several years older than me, the Dr recommended that she carry our first child. I (Rosie) will carry the subsequent children.
Who’s egg did you use?
Mandy’s. In order to use an egg that does not belong to you, you have to have IVF. We had IUI. The only other option is ICI. You can learn about the differences by clicking here:
Who is the father?
An anonymous sperm donor from a large and reputable sperm bank. We will never know him, he will never know us or Baby Harvey; that’s the point of an anonymous donor. He will also be the donor for any other future babies, so that our children are biological siblings. We do know a great deal about him–except for his name, where he lives, and what he looks like now (we have baby pics and celebrity look-a-likes).
Why didn’t we just get a friend to donate sperm?
1. Legal issues 2. Eeeww 3. We don’t want anyone undermining our position as being two mothers 4. Awkwardness for our child 5. A million other reasons
Why didn’t we just get some stranger to donate sperm?
Because we don’t know them, their genetic issues they may be bringing, if they have alcoholism in their family, etc (whereas, the sperm bank will screen for that kind of thing)
Will Rosie have to adopt the baby?
No. My name will go on the birth certificate immediately.